Register for October: National Family Sexuality Education
Month
Let's Talk
Reprinted with permission from Planned Parenthood® Federation of America, Inc
A national coalition effort to promote family communication about sexuality.
(Click for a list of coalition partners who support this effort.)
Talk about it.
Parents want their teens to be healthy, to make responsible choices
about sex, and to develop good relationships. However, teens are getting sexual messages from many unreliable sources.
Peers may have picked up incorrect information and passed it on to your child. By the time they reach adolescence,
young people have watched thousands of hours of television, and dozens of movies. They have listened to hundreds
of song lyrics, and seen countless ads in magazines, newspapers, and on the Internet. The content of many of these
media messages is sexual -- and a lot of it is unrealistic or unhealthy.
With so many messages about sexuality bombarding young people, you want to be sure your teenagers can sort out
the facts from the fantasy. You want your kids to develop healthy, respectful relationships. A good way to do this
is to have an ongoing conversation about their lives, their opinions, and their relationships.
Whether or not you're thinking or talking about it, parents are the primary source for their children's information
about sexuality. That's why it's important to be clear about what you want to teach your children. Sharing your
values about sexuality can help your child feel connected to you, to your family, and your community. Studies show
that family connectedness plays a prominent role in preventing too-early pregnancy. Young people who feel close
to their families are more likely to postpone intercourse, and when they finally have sex, they have fewer sexual
partners, and use contraception more effectively. In fact, a recent poll found that 67 percent of teens who had
talked openly with a parent about sex would speak to a parent first if they were considering beginning a sexual
relationship.
Sharing Values
It may be hard to talk about values without having your teen "tune out," so avoid making the conversation
a lecture – communication should go both ways. Remember that it is important to communicate your expectations to
your kids. Share your values, and let your teens know why you have them, and give them the accurate information
they need to stay healthy. Be the source of accurate information and reliable support for your teens, and keep
an open ear when they need it.
Emphasize Health
Make the subject as normal as oral hygiene. You're not embarrassed to tell your kids to brush their teeth. Tell
them about their reproductive health in the same way. It may be easier for you to communicate a message of health
to your teen, so start with something that will ease your anxiety or discomfort, and go from there.
When you talk about sexuality with your kids, and they share their views with you, really listen to them. If they
feel valued by you, they will learn to value themselves. If they value themselves, they are less likely to participate
in risky behavior. Instill a sense of pride in their becoming responsible young men and women. Encourage them to
take pride in their growing capabilities and to take steps to protect and nurture themselves
Don't worry about being an expert.
There are lots of printed materials and programs to give you information. Talk about what's important to you, including
the health and well-being of your teen, and keep in mind that what you are hoping to do is build a stronger, more
connected relationship with your child. For help and information, contact Planned Parenthood, or any of the organizations
listed on the back of this brochure. Also check the resource list for books and other materials.
Additional Guides for Parents:
- First Trip to the Gynecologist
- Talking About Sex: An Overview
- How To Talk With Your Child About Sexuality (From Birth to Teens)
- Teen Sex? It's OK to Say No Way!
- Talking About Birth Control
- How to Be a Good Parent
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