Real Media
Presentation
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http://www.obgyn.net/avtranscripts/ppd2000_burak.htm |
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Ronnie
L. Burak, PhD: "Motherhood is sacred and there is a myth that
when you have a baby you are blissfully happy and you are bonded with
this baby and it is the most wonderful moment of your life. So for women
to come forth and say that it’s not, that certainly goes against
everything that they’ve ever learned."
Tina: "I think after I had Zoey I realized that I wasn’t connected to her at all in the hospital. When they brought her to be fed the first time, I’m a pretty good actress when I need to be and I could pretty much say just give her to her father. Then at the second feeding, I still didn’t feel connected to her, and she was given to her father. Then when I had to go home, I had to take on this wonderful role and act like everything was wonderful and it wasn’t." Ronnie L. Burak, PhD: "I’d even go so far as to say that I think there’s sort of a secret society of mothers who don’t tell their own bad experiences that they’ve had post-partum as though they are ashamed and they don’t want it to get out." Amy: "I just felt overwhelmed like - I don’t know - it was too much being a mom." Paul: "Amy would normally be a pretty stable person, then all of a sudden she would just fly off the handle for what I would think would be no reason but she would always have her reasons, I guess." Helen: "I just didn’t have a grip on things. I had this wonderful little baby to take care of and I was supposed to be happy and I wasn’t happy so something was wrong with me but I didn’t know if I was suppose to share that with anybody." Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "We’ve invited mothers who have suffered with post-partum depression. They are the experts, and it’s very interesting how often they have had difficulty in terms of finding a professional who really is empathetic or knowledgeable about this particular problem." Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "We’re talking about post-partum depression but it’s depression, and if you continue to categorize this as separate and different and if it’s looked upon with the stigma and with the lack of sensitivity, it will continue to be treatment delayed." Christi O’Connor, reporter: "I’ve been in Dallas now for a year, and I have been counting - there have been four cases in which a mother killed her baby. Never once have I heard the media say anything about the woman. There’s no compassion for the woman, there’s no attempt to understand, and I think if we can help each other understand more - you may save one life." Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "One of the things that I want to emphasize is that the extreme example is really the minority and it’s rare. But even lesser forms are very intrusive at a time when you want to be at your best, you want to relate to your infant, you feel like you want to be the best mother you can be, and suddenly you feel like you’re failing yourself." Ronnie L. Burak, PhD: "Tell us a little bit about your experience from the time you had your little boy or little girl?" Amy: "A little boy, and he’s eight now. I felt a lot of love for him when he was born but I felt overwhelmed with all there was to take care of the baby. I felt like he was a lot of trouble and I shouldn’t feel that way about him but I did anyway. I didn’t know why. I just got depressed, really depressed and felt like I was a bad person because I felt that way about my own child." Helen: "As a first time mom, how are you suppose to feel? All these things were new to me; I really, really didn’t know. I had a wonderful pregnancy; I was on the biggest high for nine months that I’d ever been on and life was good. I thought the aftermath is going to be just as wonderful, and it was different. So my expectations just went pffft." Joyce A. Venis, RNC: "What happened to me may have happened over twenty years ago but I can tell you that I remember the sleepless nights. I can tell you that I remember crying all night and not knowing what to do with that little baby and that I felt terribly responsible. That’s another myth of motherhood that we should know exactly what to do. We don’t know how to take care of children just because we’re women, we have to learn." Helen: "I felt guilty because I didn’t bond with my baby right away. My husband would often ask me when I was breast-feeding - that must be the most wonderful feeling in the world - and I’d say yes. I was going through all the ropes and everything, and yes, I kind of felt tender and warm and all but it wasn’t this feeling that it should have been. I didn’t know at that point my feelings were so overwhelming, I just could not see myself coming out of that." Joyce A. Venis, RNC: "Can you imagine that for nine months a woman doesn’t have a period - doesn’t have her menstrual cycle? That is a tremendous hormonal change that occurs for this woman so that when she has the baby, the body goes back or tries to go back to a pre-pregnancy state. It’s very difficult for the body to do it just like that." Susan Feingold, Psy.D.: "And really what happens is that during the nine months of pregnancy, hormone levels are increasing in order to maintain the pregnancy to something like 40-60 times what they normally are. Then within a few days of delivery, basically, it's like those hormone levels plummet off a cliff." Tina: "I was prepared for such a wonderful pregnancy and it wasn’t wonderful, and I didn’t like it. I developed gall bladder problems and I had morning sickness for four months and so it didn’t start out real well. When I had my baby, it was a 38-hour process, and when they brought her to me after I delivered her, I didn’t feel any connection to her at all. I wanted her to kind of go away from me and the guilt that went along with that was awful. The first time I told my daughter to shut up, she was crying. That’s all she did was cry, and I felt really guilty because I thought I was going to hurt her. I remember just saying - please, would you please just shut up - and it kept going on and on. I felt that she sensed from me that I wasn’t bonded to her." Dr. Barbara O’Reilly: "In the first few weeks of life, it’s very important for the baby to bond with the mom. If the mother is not bonding with the infant, that could carry on later in life and lead to other problems." Tina: "I didn’t like breast-feeding, and everything they tried to teach us in our classes I thought would be great, and I didn’t like any of that. I didn’t feel connected at all, and I felt guilty over that, very guilty. Guilty is an overused word but I felt very guilty but it was the worst thing that I ever went through. I adore my daughter now, I think she’s the most wonderful blessing I’ve ever had. I think she’s great, she’s my friend." Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "Did any of the professionals who you were dealing with know that there was something wrong?" Tina: "He kept asking about my daughter, and how’s Zoey? I kept saying things like - all she does is cry, all she does is cry - and I kept thinking just ask me how I am and he never did." Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "So no one asked the question?" Tina: "No." Dr. James Jones: "As an obstetrician and someone involved in education, I guess my question would be did people talk to you about this before time? I counsel my patients about epidurals, about breast-feeding, I don’t talk to them about post-partum depression." Tina: "No." Dr. James Jones: "Because I think they’re going to wait to come back to me but it’s very obvious that we should be talking to women ahead of time about this." Tina: "My obstetrician-gynecologist never asked me that, and I felt like I had the rapport with him, I mean, I bawled in his office at four months of pregnancy because I was so sick. I told him I couldn’t do this anymore so I’ve had the connection of just bawling to him. But he never asked me or educated me at all." Dr. James Jones: "Yes, but you’re not failing at four months because you’re throwing up or because your gall bladder hurts but you’re failing post-partum when you don’t feel like a mother. So I’m not surprised that you didn’t respond to him but it seems to me that if I had talked to you about post-partum depression and you said, "By the way, remember that thing we discussed before the baby came - I’ve got it full blown." That might be the way that we open the doors up." Tina: "Yes, I think that would have been very helpful to me." Unknown man: "Was there ever a part of you that just said - I’m sure this will go away." Tina: "I would have told you then – no." Dr. Kay Holmes: "Ronnie, do you have any comments on how long it takes as far as recovery? Every situation obviously is different, how long it…" Ronnie L. Burak, PhD: "I think it’s very individual; it varies just as people having depression under other circumstances varies. I think probably the sooner someone gets help the better because it’s easier to get somebody as they’re going into it and bring them up than if they’ve gone way down into it. There’s so many variables that I think there’s really a wide range of when it begins and how long it takes to come out of it. Also, medication is an issue; some people respond very quickly to medication, bulls eye - you hit it. Another person you might have to try two or three, you have to get the right dosage and so that also has an effect on how long it takes someone to come out of it." Helen: "I know that as far as medication is concerned, a friend of mine really helped me out as well. She said to me if you had a thyroid problem would you not take medication, and bingo." Dr. Kay Holmes: "What am I going to say to my patient that is going to make any impact on her at five months? How do I even get her to start thinking in those terms because for most people that is not reality for them?" Joyce A. Venis, RNC: "Do you mention complications? Make PPD a part of it, it doesn’t have to be a big piece." Dr. Kay Holmes: "What do you say, do you simply say that you might have post-partum depression and then you go into this in detail with them or…?" Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "Can I respond to that?" Dr. Kay Holmes: "Sure, because it’s frustrating." Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "I’ll tell you what I would say - it’s a medical problem, it’s not a psychological problem. That’s very important because when somebody thinks they have a medical problem, it’s acceptable, and I’m coming from the heart - it is a medical problem. It may be exacerbated by psychological issues but so are ulcers, arthritis, and diabetes. That’s the way you approach it." Joyce A. Venis, RNC: "One of the most important things that I do with my patients is to reassure them that they are not crazy - number one; and number two, that they did not cause this to happen. And number three, they will get better though at this point they won’t believe me." Unknown woman: "I’d like to hear from the husbands what you were feeling as your wives or your partners were experiencing this. Jerry, you want to start?" Jerry: "Sure, just to kind of set the picture a little bit, Helen is not moody, she is a very upbeat person. The pregnancy was planned, we were anxious to have the baby…" Helen: "Great pregnancy." Jerry: "She just had a phenomenal pregnancy, I mean, she was up all the time. Then Helen crashed, I mean she was not the same lady." Unknown man: "It was a whirlwind when the baby was born, and a lot of the focus from our part and everyone else’s was on the joy but being under the same roof a lot of the symptoms and the signs were kind of noticed but weren’t noticed." Paul: "The overwhelming feeling that I had was just a feeling of helplessness in that here you see your wife going deep in the doldrums and what can you really do; you try to be supportive but you really can’t break that barrier and communicate with them. Then you have to leave, you have responsibilities, you have to go to work and so you get home and all of a sudden the baby’s shoved in your arms. That’s maybe the only thing that makes you feel like everything’s okay - I’m home now, I’ll try to do what I can. But then you leave the next day and you’re at work, you’re feeling like you wish you could help but you’re really like out on a island or something; it’s really difficult." Unknown woman: "I’m due in two months and part of me is just petrified hearing what you’re talking about and part of me is also very glad to hear that these are things that I may be experiencing but I have never been a moody person or…" Unknown man: "It’s true." Unknown woman: "You’re supposed to validate that." Unknown man: "Yes dear; I’ll hear about it tonight." Unknown woman: "This is my first and I don’t know how to be a mom." Susan Feingold, Psy.D.: "I guess what I would say to you in terms of maybe some fear in hearing that you’re either going to get it or you’re not, better to know what it is." Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "I think it’s very unlikely that any problems will be caused by education. I think it’s much more likely that people who are suffering in silence and who feel that they’re failing at motherhood will be relieved and will reach out for some help. And that husbands who might have been aggravated and upset with their wives will become supportive and help them get the help, so I think it’s a very positive thing." Susan Feingold, Psy.D.: "A lot of times they’re relieved just hearing this is what they’ve got. That’s like the first step because then you can let them know there’s hope and there’s treatment for it." Ronnie L. Burak, PhD: "I’ve heard women come to my office say to me - why didn’t they tell me this before? There was nothing in my childbirth classes, there was nothing from my obstetrician, all my friends who have children said you will be so happy, it will be so wonderful - it’s the most wonderful experience of your life. Nobody every warned me about this. Then later on I go and talk to them and find out there’s a lot of women who went through this but they were afraid to admit it. They were afraid to tell as if it was some sort of cultural taboo." Helen: "I feel wonderful, and I owe it to a professional staff and to my obstetrician-gynecologist, and I owe it to the medication that I’m on and my support base and my outlook. I’ve got a beautiful baby, and I wouldn’t change anything. Life’s good." Ronnie L. Burak, PhD: "Good." Jerry: "I feel great, I’ve got my gal back. She wasn’t gone for very long but thanks to some great professionals, and I think just the willingness to say – hey, let’s fix the problem." Tina’s husband: "It was a combination of medication and the talk therapy. I think that also opened us up to be able to talk about things better." Ronnie L. Burak, PhD: "Great, Tina." Tina: "I feel normal." Joyce A. Venis, RNC: "Though we may have talked a lot about how awful this illness is, I can speak for myself and my moms - as I call them - they become themselves, they become better people after this experience. I admire and respect them because they do triumph in the face of adversity. It really does have a happy ending." Dr. Carl S. Burak, J.D.: "I’m very deeply indebted to everybody both on the panel and in the audience for coming, and I thank you all." "Calling the 800 number of D.A.D. (Depression After Delivery) is one of the easiest and the best things that anyone could do. They will get information and that will start them on the road to recovery." 1-800-994-4PPD |